Confession of a Full Time Mama

I've been a full time mama coming to 5 months now and I must say it has definitely changed my life.  Friends told me that it's not easy being a full time mama both mentally and physically.  They rather return to their full time job than being a stay at home mother.  Well, I fully agree with them.  It is exhausting at times especially when Aston is cranky.  This is the time where you wish someone is there to relief you just for an hour or so to sober up unfortunately being a full time mama I do not have that privilege.  Like it or not I just have to turn a deaf ear to Aston's cries and continue my "work" which never ends.  When you're working you can still look forward to the time where you're off for the day or weekends or looking forward to long weekends or public holidays.  Well, sad to say all this does not mean anything anymore because whether it's a weekday or weekend it does not make any difference.

Well, I've always wonder why people always say that once you are a stay at home mum you will automatically be categorize under the "Aunty" or worst "Si-lai" group.  Now I fully comprehend! First of all dressing up or putting on make up is only reserved for special occasion.  Why? Before we step out of the house we need to get Aston ready (ie feed/change/prepare his next feed to bring along etc etc) which usually take about 30-45minutes to completely get him ready to leave the house.  Only after that I will go shower, pump milk, change and groom myself which usually take another 30-45minutes and all this are done in a hurry so therefore, what mood is there to dress up nicely and put on make-up when by the time you are about to leave the house you're already sweating from rushing around in the house like a mad women?  Perhaps I need to revamp my wardrobe to be more of a modern mum dressing because whatever that I had previously definitely do not suit taking care a baby.  For example, I can kiss wearing denim mini skirts goodbye because I always think that I may have a major boo boo when I bend down to pick Aston up from the stroller.  Tentatively, I still do not wear spaghetti straps or Baby-Ts because of my nursing bra.  Yes! I still cannot get over the full cup and thick bands and straps on the bra.  Hence, loose fitting tops are my best bet and when I'm at home I've conquered and took over most of papa's T-Shirts.  Definitely an "Aunty" trait there!

Second and most important is social life which at the current moment my best friend now is not even my husband but Aston.  Yes, I can forget about having yum cha sessions till wee hours in the morning with my friends or just have a nice and quiet dinner with my hubby.  We can forget about romance! Some days I think I talk more to Aston than to my hubby because by the time hubby gets home from work I'll be too tired.  Sometimes I sleep so early that I don't even see him till the next morning and when morning comes we have brunch together and he will be off to work again.  Nevertheless, because I refused to be in the "Aunty" category I still try to have short yum cha sessions with my friends.  My next step is to go out during the weekday with Aston just for the sake of not staying in the house for so many days in a week!

Well, despite what I have written above I still do enjoy being a stay at home mum.  I get to witness all of Aston's first actions.  For example, Aston's first smile, laugh, hand sucking, drool, all the coos and ahhhs.  Just like today, if I was at work I would have missed two things that Aston did.  First I actually witness he slept on his side for the very first time.  Second, I also witness he nearly manage to turn over.  I saw him struggling to turn his upper body.  He made many attempts but in the end he got stuck and called for help.  His lower half of his body was already turned over.  He's head also turned over but he couldn't turn his shoulder over.  I just helped him by pushing him a little and then he looked at me with a laugh.  It is moments like this that makes it all worthwhile.

By reading this blog you will probably think that the cons are more than the pros by being a full time mama.  For me, it is not.  To express my joy and happiness as a full time mama is hard to put in words.  You will have to experience it to know what I mean.  No matter how many happy things I write in this blog you will never truly understand until you go through it yourself.