Depression?!

I just went for my 6 weeks postpartum check-up this morning.  As usual, doctor greeted with a big smile and asked how am I and whether do I have any concerns.  Straight away I said that I'm very concern with the bleeding and again she reassured me that it is normal.  She then explained to me that while I'm still breastfeeding it will take some time for it to return to normal.  She mentioned that some women will not have their period while breastfeeding.. while some will start immediately.  I also mentioned that the research I did online said that I should only be bleeding for about 6 weeks max and she assured me that there's no 'max' to bleeding.  I just have to let my body adjust itself and usually I should be able to tell by the 3rd month.  Oh gosh I thought this is really payback for 9 months not having my period! The amount of pad that I have used since delivery is close enough to 9 months supply! The annoying part is that there are days you will see some spotting and there are days you see nothing and suddenly you see a bit of blood clot when I pee! Arghhhh... when will it be normal where I only wear for 7 days once a month? Anyway, in addition, I had my pap smear done which I was not aware of well not as in totally didn't know but I was expecting the same degree of pain as before but thankfully this was a breeze.  She also did a scan from below to check my uterus and she assured me that there's nothing left behind and everything is normal.

Anyway, while she was doing the pap smear she was mentioning whether have I return to work and that's when I said no because there's no one to take care of my baby and on top of that I can't seem to let go and trust anyone to handle him.  Then she said that's not good I may be going into post natal depression!! She repeatedly mentioned that I must let go.  She then explained to me that is good that I open up and tell her about it before matters gets worst.  She advised me to get out of the house at least twice a week without the baby and just have a cup of coffee or some grocery shopping to unwind.  She also mentioned that by doing so I will be a better parent as my mind is refreshed and I will be able to handle Aston better when I get home.  She repeatedly asked me to go on a date with hubby and just leave Aston at home to be taken care by someone else.  She also said that if I continue on not letting go I may get into really bad depression which requires medication and I may turn up one of those mother's who are so possessive over their child that kindergarten teachers do not like.  She also explained why the rate of post natal depression is higher in western countries because they do not get as much support and help from their family as compared to Asians.  She even suggested that I bring Aston out after the 3rd month to meet up with friends.  Maybe I should start a mummy's club among ourselves and meet up once a week at a baby friendly place to have a chat.  Is there any baby friendly cafe in KL?

I've been very worried with my body too! I've been repeatedly trying on my jeans and it just wouldn't fit! I also tried my cargo pants which used to just hang on my hips and now when I tried it on I can't even buckle! Looks like I have a huge butt now! Eventhough my weight is very close to my pre-pregnancy weight but I don't feel that way at all due to my physical appearance especially my tummy! I have also been diligently putting on stretch mark creams and thank god that the doctor commented that they are fading already! Yayyy! I asked doctor whether I can start to exercise she said I can start walking but not running and no sit ups and swimming yet.  She said I will need to wait for another 3 months before I can start doing sit ups or swimming or running because even now with mild exercise I may still feel muscle pull.  Oh well.. like one of my friends suggested is time to go shopping!